In the following two videos, Craig and Judi talk about ways that people around you can provide support and how to ask them for help.
In the next video, Dr Joan Carlini, Julia Robertson and Catherine share insight into accepting help during health adversity and discuss how to cope and what help is useful:
Making a list of tasks for your friends
Your friends will want to help you and your loved one during this challenging time. When you are coping with your changing world and juggling appointments, medications, emotions, and more, it can be difficult to think of things they can actually do.
The list below may give you some ideas. You can create your own list and share it with your friends. Give them an opportunity to work out which tasks on your list they can do for you. By doing this, you are helping them to help you.
- Pick up milk, juice, chicken, etc. for us. Or call me from the grocery store and ask me for a short list of things we need.
- Call me. I am so stressed and worried, I really need a friend (or mum, dad, sister, brother) to talk to.
- Help me with the washing. I have been so busy, the washing is really piling up.
- Come over and help me clean a little. Low blood counts from chemo mean we have to be extra careful about germs, so helping me keep the kitchen and bathroom clean would be great.
- Please offer to watch our kids when we have doctor’s appointments.
- Have our kids over for dinner (or for a weekend or a movie) it would relieve a little stress for me and also give them a chance to have some fun.
- Drop off pre-made meals occasionally that we can heat up, it would save a lot of time for us.
- Offer to go out to lunch, dinner with me. I really need a break from all my stress and would love even just an hour of “normal” time.
- Come visit “us” in the hospital. The hospital is so lonely and scary sometimes, it would really help all of us to have a friendly face around.
- Take a walk, bike ride or go to an exercise class with me. I need to relieve my stress with exercise, but I am so stressed out and worried I could really use some encouragement.
- Keep calling us, even if only to leave cheery messages on the machine. We have been so busy with the hospital and doctors that we haven’t had time to return your call. We need positive encouragement, and your messages are precious to us.
- Be patient with me. I am a carer for someone with a brain tumour and it is the scariest and most stressful thing I have ever done. I am so worried, and stressed out; I might be upset, frustrated and angry, which may come across as being snippy or argumentative. Please understand that I need your love and support, but I am having a hard time reaching out.
- Offer to stay overnight. I could really do with a good night’s sleep.