It is important to remember:
- There are different sorts of respite care in home or outside, for a few hours or a few weeks
- Respite is important for a carer’s health and wellbeing,
- Carer’s health and wellbeing will help you to continue to provide long term care for your loved one and may be of benefit to both you and the person with the diagnosis
- When you are caring for someone full time or for long periods, you need to have breaks. Otherwise you may start to feel stressed, resentful or even unwell. Ask your doctor or contact some of the carer resources.
- Respite care allows you to both get a break.
The type of respite care may be a decision you will make jointly with the person you are caring for if they are able to. They may even be the one to suggest it if you are getting very tired. Both you might enjoy a change of scenery or company. After a few days’ break, you may both feel rested and better able to manage at home again.
If you regularly allow some respite time for yourself, your loved one has the chance to get used to the concept. It might be helpful to think about family members or friends that might be able to help you.
Alice’s Experience of Respite
“For a while when Jack had a Grade 2 glioma I could cope with the changes and I found enough time to go horse riding or on walks pretty regularly. Since he moved home though and his symptoms have worsened I struggle at times. I feel helpless at times and can’t help with his darker moods. I’ve become better at recognizing when I need a break and so sometimes my sister comes to stay for a week or so to help out. They both get on well and I think Jack enjoys the break from me. It means my partner and I can have nights or weekends away to try and get some time away from all of the responsibility. We come back feeling refreshed and Jack has had a good time with his aunt, so it sort of renews the relationship a bit.”
Steve’s Experience of Respite
“Things have got easier in recent months, and Kelly is doing most of her own self care. We needed respite care earlier, though, after Kelly’s operation. At that time someone came in to look after Kelly while I was at work. I still needed to go to work a couple of times a week. It helped financially for me to work part time as well as be a carer, but it also made things feel a bit more normal again. I felt selfish at first having a carer, but Kelly said that some of the women who looked after her gave her a different sort of attention. Some of them would paint her nails and read to her. I think after the first two weeks she enjoyed the space as much as I did. Well, she said that I was less grumpy on work days. Ha!”
Hattie’s Experience of Respite…
“I didn’t want to use any respite services at first. I was scared that Kirra would get upset and I felt like I was letting her down. However, as his symptoms got worse, it just got too difficult to do by myself. Now, I have some community nurses come in to shower her every day and give her medication. That time is just so helpful because I can get myself organised for the day ahead.
Kirra also goes to our local RSL care twice a week. During this time she gets to meet other people and I get a bit of time for myself. I need this time to unwind. I play bridge with friends or go shopping or just do plain old nothing… and get my energy up so I can look after her again.
I think we have both got something good from respite care.”